Corporate Thuggin'

Super Bowl Commercials

Posted by: cracker with cheese
Feb 8, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, crime, government, idiots, internet, news, pittsburgh, politics, pop culture, sports, tv, video Leave a comment

Trying to come up with a title for this post was hard, seeing that every internet media blog has taken some variation of  “Monday Morning Fill-in-a-term” even though they have no idea what sport reference this is making.  ANYWAYS, as a whole I was upset with how unfunny the commercials happened to be this year.  And if I see one more Denny’s commercial I will kill someone.  You can find all the commercials on YouTube, but to save you time, this is all you need to know:

Best unintentional-intentional comedy that has no business trying to be funny:

Best showing of why Americans think Pittsburgh sucks:

Only commercial that got me to LOL, thanks Lamar:

Commercial that would have been funny if it wasn’t leaked before it aired [FYI - all the Doritos commercials sucked, and when someone at work reminded me that they were submitted to the company by ordinary people it makes me wonder why a they would waste $2.5 million on a spot]:

Most original idea that came from last year’s #1 summer comedy movie:

Best use of taking a popular TV show concept from a non-CBS station:

Worst use of tax money:

Bud Light was the, per usual, best brander this year, they also had the best rap artist joke from 2008:

Finally, the commercial you should watch about 100 times comes from Audi.  It gets my M. Night Shyamalan award.  To start, I thought it was a take on what America would be about if Al Gore was Prez.  Also, for the first 40 seconds it will have you thinking it is a joke on white-collar crime, not to be confused with White-Collar Crime.  During this time you may also think it is a joke about white people actually being capable of committing crime.   Finally you will see it is about being a hippie:

… I also like this commercial because I play a small part in the financing of it

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Rap Lyric of the Day – “If Amazing Was A Young Bitch, I’d Be Going To Jail Because I’m Fucking Amazing”

Posted by: forever 21
Feb 8, 2010 audio, celebrities, music, pop culture, radio, rap lyric of the day, video Leave a comment

Here is the latest installment of the “Rap Lyric of the Day” segment. This entry comes from Drake and might as well have come from Cracker With Cheese considering some of his recent posts.

Uhh, set up the occasion,
I’m up in the place in,
if amazing was a young b-tch,
I be going to jail cuz I be f-cking amazing,
whats up in the taking,
I’m ready and Im willing, why the f-ck are we waiting

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Period On

Posted by: invincible period
Feb 6, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment

Most incredible song ever.

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Fun Emails from Sluts

Posted by: invincible period
Feb 6, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment

Everyone knows that February 14th is Slutoberfest and lots of sluts have been hittin’ me up. Too bad these went to my spam box or I could probably be getting my knob robbed right now.

Do not write me a long time, waiting for Nastia!

Hi handsome – you were so good in bed with me -
I want to again make love to you – no 1 man I had never done so well as you have done -
I’ll procure very great pleasure – my body was looking at your pictures just on fire!

I came to you, and your number does not answer, Anna.

Hey – why do I stop writing? “I very much waited your letter – every day,
I now have a website, come to my page and write to me at last,
I’m waiting for you, and I want to meet with you, kisses – Nadia from Russia!

Forgot about his mistress?

Hi, I am sad and dreary one – there – In Moscow,
I live alone now hooked up the internet, that’s looking for someone to talk to,
I have a web camera as well as personal page on the internet, come on,
help me to remove my sadness.

I arrived only a week, very much want to see you!

Good day, I accidentally found a letter from you, I remember how we communicated with you.
You were so hot, let’s talk again – drop me to the page – I’ll wait for my very sweet!

I’m not sure who be these sluts, but they speak like Asian talk. Good thing I asked for Extenze for Christmas, and one of these.

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A Couple of Dicks aka Cop Out Has Totally Redeemed Itself

Posted by: forever 21
Feb 6, 2010 celebrities, movie, pop culture, video Leave a comment

The first trailer I saw for his movie looked like they were going to pussify a Kevin Smith movie, which is ridiculous. Luckily, the red band trailer has hit the internet and I was completely wrong. There are too many one-liners to type, so watch this. You know what, I once heard that Lil’ Biznas Planz was all foreskin. Also, I bet Iron Sheik is pumped that Kevin Pollock is in it.

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Gifts for Invincible Period

Posted by: cracker with cheese
Feb 6, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, stuff people like, tv, video Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day is coming up and if your crush is on CT member Invincible Period, this will make a great gift idea:

funny cat sound effects not included

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Cat-In-A-Suit Meets Heidi

Posted by: invincible period
Feb 2, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment

This past weekend I happened to find myself making cats out of bags, dressing them in suits, and well you can probably tell what happened next… Oh, and if you haven’t heard Heidi’s new CD, this is probably her highest point of 2010:

Stay tuned for Cat-In-A-Suit’s next adventure…which will be whenever I get another craving for Subway.

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Oh my crazy Asian

Posted by: I brought the table
Jan 28, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment

Here at CT, there is alot of love for the Asians…..but I think we would all be overwhelmed by the new Korean group “Girls Generation”. I’m really not sure if these are the same song, but if you are listening, you’re a homo anyway.

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State of the Union Address Recap

Posted by: invincible period
Jan 28, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment

So, if you’re anything like me, then you probably wanted to smash your head on the wall 5 minutes into Obama’s State of the Union Address tonight. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could have seen better acting in the Married with Children marathon I was oh so tempted to watch…

But, I didn’t want to be that idiot in the office who has nothing to say about the historic speech, and neither should you. That’s why I put together this recap summarizing the most important points of his speech:

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Apple Introduces The IPad And Gets Into The Periods Business

Posted by: forever 21
Jan 27, 2010 advertisment, internet, pop culture 1 Comment

Today Apple introduced their latest invention and there was much speculation about what it would be called. I’m not going to get into what it is exactly because I tried to read about it and could only hear that nerd from the Simpson’s yelling in my ear. Anyway, they tried to play off of their success of the name IPod by calling the new product the IPad. I first noticed that this similarity would cause havoc on people with a New York accent, but then thought, fuck them those Jersey Shore kids just improved their standing a ton and they needed knocked back down. Then, upon hearing the name repeatedly, IPad kept leading me to thinking about female hygeine products. So they took the next logical step from those gay ass commercials, they went straight to periods.

I decided that I’d be the first to start their new ad campaign. (Notice I chose red)

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