How To Maximize Your Swine Flu Benefits

I still get all of the Northeastern announcement emails, and I just got this one regarding Swine Flu. Seems well-intentioned, but as I read on, I started getting the feeling that there’s gonna be a lot of class-skipping this fall. Here’s a selection of the good parts (I bolded my favorite):

Preparing for interruption of classroom instruction for an unusually large number of students because of widespread influenza infection [I don't know where the rest of that sentance is...]  Appropriate self-isolation is critical for containment of the H1N1 virus, as well as the viruses associated with seasonal influenza.  It is essential that absence from class caused by such self-isolating does not negatively impact student success in course work. In these circumstances, faculty members must be prepared to alter course policies that would penalize students for short-term absence due to influenza.

The UHCS does not provide documentation for illness, and other medical offices do not consistently provide such documentation.  We therefore recommend that students themselves draft and sign absence notes to be provided to their instructors upon their return to class. Integrity in this process is an expectation of the Northeastern Academic Integrity Policy.

So…basically you’re saying that students should isolate themselves to prevent the swine flu from getting around, faculty members need to not penalize students for missing classes, and no one provides documentation for swine flu. So, you’re recommending students to write their own absence notes? And then sign them themselves? And you don’t think anyone is going to take advantage of this?

Let me know how that works out for you.