Fucking With Terrorists Part IV – The Conclusion

4.) Just When I Think I Might Be Getting Somewhere…

Dearest Pastor Lil Biznas Planz.

My greetings to you and your family This is to inform you that i read your message to Mrs.Muna Habib, and she is glad to hear from you again, Mrs.Muna instructed me to write you this mail again, As i must introduce myself to you and to your family.

I am miss. Angela Solomon the assistace nurse to Mrs.Muna Habib. Mrs.Muna being that i told her that you requested her another picture apart from the one she was on her bed room, Mrs.Muna said that she did not have another different picture aspect this half picture she took the day she lost her late husband, she futher instruct me to let you know that giving much picture is not the best way to prove trusting each others.

Pastor Lil Biznas Planz, our sister is glad that you are in position to tranville to another country, so she said that you are highley welcome to visit her in person in this country Cote D’Ivoire, Abidjan, West Africa because she even prefer to stop any futher arrangment until you and your  wife come donw to this country in person to meet with us in this hospital then from this hospital i will take you and your wife to the security company head office were sister Muna’s late husband registered thier donation trunk box.

Mrs Muna Habib said i should let you know that this fund will be under your control towards hummanitarian and charity services including the propagation of the word of Allah. but for her more confident that her donation funds will use according her late husband heart desire, that you should forward to us your complete informations to submitte to the security company so that the security will start every proccedure for obtaining affidavit of oath from the Ministry of justice that will properly prove and show that you are her new appointed beneficiary.

Mrs.Muna is very happy for your assuring and encouraging letters you sent to us. I also appreciate your sincere words. We are trusting you to channel this fund accordingly.
the certificate of deposit of the Trunk Box which was issued to my late husband on the very first day of deposit will be forward you in the next mail, Mrs.Muna said you must keep these transaction very confidential without expossing it untill you received the trunk box containing the donation fund for security Purposes.

You have to send us your informations and to the security company as you are free to contact the Security Company director immediately and instruct them for them to do the change of ownership to your name which will legally aprove you the new beneficiary to the Trunk Box before shipment to you.

Below is your informations needed

Your house address or your church

Your phone

Below is the contact informations of the Security Company;

DELTA TRUST ASSISTANCE SECURITY COMPANY CI
Security & Trust
05 BP 700 ABIDJAN
COTE D’IVOIRE
TEL:+225-08076995
Fax; +225-21241011
E-MAIL: delta.trust@yahoo.fr
Contact Person: Mr.Jonathan Kouame (Director)

Please while contacting the Security Company remember not to disclose to the managment of the Security Company the real content of the box as fund, because her late husband as a foreigner declared the consignment to the Security Company on the first day of deposit as a family valuables not as fund for security reasons.when there is propper arrangement for this i will send you the key of the Box for the oppening. You will find the picture in attanchment

I prefer you write and contact them over the telephone so that it will facilitate them to attend to you immediately.Please as soon as you contact them get me informed. Always remember me in your daily prayers.

Yours’ Sincerely sister

Mrs.Muna Habib.

My Response:

Ms Angela Solomon,

Durka Durka! Thank your for your kindness and calling me Pastor. From now on, you can call me “General Lil Biznas Plaz” or Capitan Kickass” or just Lil’ Biznas Planz, whatever you prefer.

Angela, I’m happy Mrs. Muna started having you start typing to me instead, I think she has the IQ of a napkin or something. All her stupidity was makin my dick soft, I mean, the bitch typed worse than the one armed drummer from Def Leppard.  Mrs Muna didn’t understand what I asked. This I why I think she has something wrong with her. I asked for a picture of her, or you, or someone she knows saying “WE BE CORPORATE THUGGIN”.

Its pretty fuckin’ simple. Just take a picture of you or one of your Durkas holding up a sign that says “WE BE CORPORATE THUGGIN.” I will not send you any information until you send me a picture of that. Actually, you could send me that, or you fucking a camel. One of the other.

My wife, Topanga and I would love to come visit, in fact, I will be flying into Morocco soon anyway, so I could swing by the Ivory Coast and we could get after it, and maybe get a little high.

So if I read the email below, you want me to make a deposit in your Trunk Box? Its usually one or the other, then I need a sandwich, my balls rubbed, and maybe a quick nap too. After that I can deposit in the trunk too, its really up to you. To elaborate, I usually check out the Box first, so I must ask, how big is your box? Is it a clean box? Dirty box? White Box? Brown Box? Sandy Box? Disgruntled Box? Let me know. If you want me to make a deposit in your trunk too, I will need to know similar stats, especially if you got junk in her trunk. Ms Angela Solomon, is there junk in your trunk? If so how much? Not to mention you’re gonna need a shitload of lube, Im hung like a bear.

Send the picture I request, and we can complete transactions. Over and out motherfucker! USA! USA! USA!

Get After It in the Name of Allah,

General Lil Biznas Planz

PS. I <3 your fuckin sweet hat!

Notes:

Clearly, I lost all patience and just went nuts. I think starting it with “Durka Durka” may have crossed the line, but considering I tend to be on the lighter side when it comes to blatant racism as compared with my fellow corporate thugs, I figured why the fuck not. Needless to say I never heard back. Supposidly the people who do this are relentless in trying to get you to send them money. I singlehandidly scared one away. I’m chalking this one up in the win column, and can’t wait for the next fuck who thinks its wise to mess with this American. USA! USA!