Movies They Should Be Making, Part 1

If I had things my way, they would be filming the sequel to The House Bunny as we speak. It would have to be a horror movie, because girls are always way sluttier in horror movies. Girls in horror movies also usually die, so there’s none of that awkward morning after stuff. This is how it would break down:

Title: The Last House Bunny On The Left

Plot: The girls move into a new house (hint: it’s the last one on the left of the street) with their new pledges. Someone starts killing all the ugly girls, so Shelly decides to give all the girls makeovers because the pretty girls don’t die. There’s a movie montage where all the girls throw around clothes and then suddenly all the girls get hot. The hot girls have pillow fights (like in that Girlicious video) and then they decide to have another huge party to show the rest of the campus how hot they are, but only after they make another sexy calendar. At the party some more girls start dying, but only the one who aren’t slutty. Then some more things happen just like in that other movie that I like, and then Charlie’s Angels show up and catch the killer.

Surprise Twist Ending: All I can tell you is it involves cats…

Moral of the Story: If you don’t want to die in college, you need to be hot and slutty, or one of Charlie’s Angels.

Hopefully Anna Farris reads this. Someone tweet her.