Archive for the ‘audio’ Category

America!

Jun 28, 2010 audio, movie, music

Hello all out in Corporate Thuggin world! I know its been quite a while since you have heard from me, but the wait is surely worth it.

If there are two things I love in this world, its Van Halen and America. This got me thinking…why not combine both into one amazing song thats sure to be blasted at 4th of July Cookouts and Freedom Marches all across this great nation. Well, with some editing help from White Collar Crime, that’s exactly what I did. So grab your gun, a cold Pabst, and strap yourself in, because are about to get fired the fuck up.

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You Know What’s Better Than Mickey Rourke Getting Nominated For An Oscar

May 22, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, news, pop culture

Justin Bieber getting nominated for a BET Award. Something tells me he might stick out a little bit at the show. Does anyone else think Bieber looks like Hilary Swank in Boy’s Don’t Cry?

justin-bieber-1

045667_ph2

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I Need You

Mar 26, 2010 audio, celebrities, dumb girls, idiots, music, news, pop culture, video

Paris Hilton has a new song called “I Need You”

Are your ears bleeding too?

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Raaaaaaaandy Mixtape

Mar 8, 2010 audio, celebrities, injuries, internet, music, pop culture, video

If you haven’t heard, Randy is making a mixtape:

Only one song has been leaked so far, but it is more of a long bitchy rant:

The mixtape is also being slowed down by whoever Justin Bieber is:

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Entrance Songs For Tiger Woods’ Press Conference

Feb 18, 2010 audio, celebrities, news, pop culture, sex, sports, tv, video

I thought I’d give Tiger a few options for his walk up to the podium for tomorrow’s press conference. The Tiger songs are pretty lame to tell you the truth, but my suggestion for Elin transcends adultery.

Lil Wayne should have just called this one Tiger’s Autobiography

Anything from Three Six Mafia would def instill Tiger’s vibe

Do you think is possible that Tiger plays golf solely for the twat. Fred Durst thinks so. wow, that sentence is lame, but maybe Tiger’s Sunday red is a tribute to ole Freddy.

And… one for Elin.

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Songs I Would Sing In My Audition For American Idol

Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video

Personally, I feel like I was born to sing the first song, but the benefits of singing songs two and three might be too much to pass up.

1. Somebody Kill Me Please by Adam Sandler – to show off my vocal range

2.The Birthday Song by Taco (Jon Lajoie) – to hopefully get a shot at banging out Kara Dioguardi

3.  Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge- to get a shot at banging out Ellen

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Kid N Play Are Still Sick As Shit

Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video

The House Party series of movies are some of the most underrated films of all-time. If you haven’t seen them, it’s like Boyz N Tha Hood with funny bad guys. Kid n Play got back together today since it’s been 20 years since the original House Party hit theaters. Watch these videos and bask in the nostalgia.

here’s the lame shit

here’s the hot shit

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Rap Lyric of the Day – “If Amazing Was A Young Bitch, I’d Be Going To Jail Because I’m Fucking Amazing”

Feb 8, 2010 audio, celebrities, music, pop culture, radio, rap lyric of the day, video

Here is the latest installment of the “Rap Lyric of the Day” segment. This entry comes from Drake and might as well have come from Cracker With Cheese considering some of his recent posts.

Uhh, set up the occasion,
I’m up in the place in,
if amazing was a young b-tch,
I be going to jail cuz I be f-cking amazing,
whats up in the taking,
I’m ready and Im willing, why the f-ck are we waiting

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Is He Talking About Getting A Mouth Hug?

Jan 15, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, pop culture, radio, video

Jason Derülo likes two things umlauts and double entendres.

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Fucking With Terrorists Part V – What a Surprise!

Dec 20, 2009 audio, crime, idiots

If you are not familiar with this series of posts…

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

Muna-5.mp3
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Dearest One Lil Biznas Planz,

Greetings to you in the mighty name of God. I wish to inform you that i survied my surgical operation, and found out that you couldn’t recieve my donation fund, because you were unable to fellow the instructions of the  Security Company for them to transfer the fund to you.  But all the same, i came to realise that it wats due to your little faith in God that made you to miss this great divine opportunity.So because of your incapabilities towards recieving my donation fund, i decided to look for another child of God who can do it more better.

And now I’m happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred with the assistance of a God fearing person from Indian.Presently now i’m in Indian for proper medical treatment and also setting up projects for the lessprivilage one’s and orphanage homes, as well as the widows of my type.

Meanwhile, i didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds  despite that it failed us some how that is why i decided to compensate you. Now contact my Lawyer in Abidjan, Cote D’ivoire, His contacts are

BARR. JOHNSON B. COULIBALY
Coulibaly Law & Solicitor Chambers
14 Floor Flat 9, Belviour Castle Avenue 6
Rue 18 Abidjan Cote D’ Ivoire West Africa.
E-mail:barr.jcoulibaly@rocketmail.com
Tel:+225- 05501893

Ask him to send to you a Cheque worth of $85,000 US Dollars which i have signed in your favor and kept it with him for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.

I appreciated your efforts at that time very much, so feel free to get in touched with BARR. JOHNSON B. COULIBALY and instruct him where to send the Cheque bearing your name as the beneficiary of the total sum of $85,000 u.s dollars accredited in it.

Please do let me know immediately you have received it, so that we can share the joy and also thank God for his mercy,after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, I am very busy here because of my medical treatments of mysickness, remember that I have forwarded every instruction to the Lawyer on your behalf to recieve the Cheque, so feel free to get in touch with BARR. JOHNSON B. COULIBALY immediately, he will send the Cheque to you without any delay.

Your’s Sincerely  One,
Mrs Muna Habib

My Response:

Muna!

Giiiiiiirrrrrllllllllllll Whats going on?!?  I didn’t know if I was going to be hearing from you. I figured you might have been a little pissed since I mayyy have talked shit behind your back to Miss Angela Solomon. How’s that Durka doing? She didn’t follow my instructions either! I have therefore come to the conclusion that the Ivory Coast is full of people who have the collective IQ of a pinecone. Alllll I wanted was a picture of you, or one of your Durkas holding up a sign that says “WE BE CORPORATE THUGGIN.’”

Then and only then after I receive that picture, I will get in touch with your lawyer. Can Mr. Coulibaly take a sweet pic of himself holding up a sign that says “WE BE CORPORATE THUGGIN?” I don’t want anything gay, so make sure he doesn’t send a picture of one of his balls or something like that. I would rather jerk off with sandpaper than have to see a pic of Mr. Coulibaly’s nutbag.

Speaking of jerking off, Im gonna go pound one out while looking at pictures of the black chick from Saved By The Bell.

Peace Nucka!

PS. Send me that FUCKING picture.

Notes:

Holy hell this was a surprise. I seriously thought after the last email “she” would never end up sending anything back. But alas, Muna is one persistent motherfucker. She reallllly wants me to have this check! I wonder how long this will go on for, because if she keeps responding, I am going to keep getting more and more absurd, or until I get this fucking picture. I mean come on, how fucking funny would it be to have someone from a third world country holding up a sign that says “WE BE CORPORATE THUGGIN,” and have the picture on our homepage. I just peed a little picturing a picture like this on our homepage.  Also, she’s in “Indian?” Really? At least try and get the country right.  Oh yeah, and when I think of a fantastic healthcare system with sanitary facilities for a major “Surgical Operations,” I immediately think India. Calcutta General, yeah, sign me up!

PS, White Collar Crime and I are considering trying to call this “lawyer” and recording the conversation. I think it would be totally worth it.

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