This story has been confirmed via Mr. Carter’s jail blog: http://weezythanxyou.com/, as well as through victim notification:

I have an important message from VINE, New York’s Automated Victim Notification Service.  Please listen carefully to this message, you may want to have a pen and paper handy.  After the message you will be asked to enter your four digit pin to prevent repeated calls to this telephone number.  You are registered with us to receive updates about an offender with us whose last name is Carter (C A R T E R), and whose first name is Dwayne.  The offender’s New York State Identification Number is 02616544L.  I’m calling to tell you there has been a change in this offenders custody status.  This offender is no longer in custody, as of November 4th, 2010.  If you have any concerns about your immediate safety, contact your local law enforcement agency, or if you have an emergency call 911.

What is with these rappers and auto-tune?

American Patriots Daniel Galli, Austin Carvalho, Matt Dariano, Dominic Maciel and Clayton Howard were sent home from school on Cinco de Mayo for wearing American flag shirts and bandannas.  The students were told “they must turn their T-shirts inside-out or be sent home.”

If you have a problem with this please feel free to call the school at (408) 201-6100, or email Principal Nick Boden at Nick.Boden@mhu.k12.ca.us

And while your heart is being filled with anti-Mexican rage, and likely still hung over from Drinko de Mayo; it is time to answer the most important question this story raises:

Best unintentional-intentional comedy that has no business trying to be funny:

Best showing of why Americans think Pittsburgh sucks:

Only commercial that got me to LOL, thanks Lamar:

Commercial that would have been funny if it wasn’t leaked before it aired [FYI - all the Doritos commercials sucked, and when someone at work reminded me that they were submitted to the company by ordinary people it makes me wonder why a they would waste $2.5 million on a spot]:

Most original idea that came from last year’s #1 summer comedy movie:

Best use of taking a popular TV show concept from a non-CBS station:

Worst use of tax money:

Bud Light was the, per usual, best brander this year, they also had the best rap artist joke from 2008:

Finally, the commercial you should watch about 100 times comes from Audi.  It gets my M. Night Shyamalan award.  To start, I thought it was a take on what America would be about if Al Gore was Prez.  Also, for the first 40 seconds it will have you thinking it is a joke on white-collar crime, not to be confused with White-Collar Crime.  During this time you may also think it is a joke about white people actually being capable of committing crime.   Finally you will see it is about being a hippie:

… I also like this commercial because I play a small part in the financing of it

Gallup today showed Obama’s Job Approval has fallen from near 70% to 50% in the ten months since his inauguration.  At that rate, he’ll be at -16% come next election, fuck thats terrible!

They also show that the decrease wasn’t just the Republicans who realized they were idiots in November – almost 1 in 10 Democrats polled no longer expressed approval for Czar (or is it Tsar, Tzar, …) Obama.  The fraction was significantly higher on the other side of the isle, however, almost 2 out of 3 Republicans polled no longer expressed approval.  Whether this has anything to do with the recent exposure of many “scientists” (including the scum-bag charlatan soon-to-be-former Penn State Professor Michael Mann) colluding to falsify and hide data [Link 2] and manipulate what has turned out to be the basis of all climate change research and policy, is yet unknown.

Lastly, Gallup also shows how previous Presidents have done at the same time in their term.  You know, one would think Obama’s would be higher, having just won the Nobel Peace Prize and all, I mean, he had to have done something to get that thing, right?

(All poll graphs retrieved from: http://www.gallup.com/poll/politics.aspx)

Live in Massachusetts and participate in one of the following assistance programs?

* Emergency Aid to the Elderly, Disabled and Children
* Supplemental Security Income
* Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program
* Food Stamps
* MassHealth
* Transitional Aid To Families with Dependent Children
* Fuel Assistance

If you do you can get a free phone with monthly minutes!!!

Actually, Red Eye is pretty legit, pointing out argument ad hominem (definition for the dems, here):

While in China, Obama said that his never used his twitter account (which has 2.6 million followers).  Speaking to Shanghai students, one asked him “Should we be able to use Twitter freely?” Obama’s response was “Well, first of all, let me say that I have never used Twitter. My thumbs are too clumsy to type in things on the phone.”

Not sure if the students got the hint to make better phones.

What is strange is how everyone made such a big deal about Obama and his love of the BlackBerry.  Reports even went out about how he would have to move to the NSA secure Sectera Edge smartphone, coming in with a price tag of $3,350.

What else was Obama doing in Asia land, bowing to midgets: