Archive for the ‘idiots’ Category

Note to Self: Go To Tila Tequila Concerts

Aug 18, 2010 caption contest, celebrities, dumb girls, idiots, injuries, internet, music, nsfw, photo, pop culture, she could get it, video

Before:

During:

After:

Story from TMZ

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How People In Florida Die

Jul 5, 2010 caption contest, idiots, injuries, internet, news, old people, science, tv, video

Always Fair and Balanced, leave it to Fox News to have a youtube clip in a story about a guy killing himself on the 4th of July in an experimental helicopter he built in his garage:

What makes it better is the background music in the actual youtube video:

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Retired Basketball Relationships

May 6, 2010 celebrities, dumb girls, freaks, idiots, internet, news, nsfw, photo, pop culture, sex, she could get it, sports, tv, uncategorized, video

VH1 may have just taken the cake as the smartest reality TV show provider around.  From the channel that has brought you [fill in the blank] Rehab with Dr. Drew, Hogan Knows Best, Breaking Bonaduce, The Pick-up Artist, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love Money, Megan Wants a Millionaire, Tool Academy, the list goes on; comes yet another ground breaking show, Basketball Wives.  Judging by the fact that there is no Wikipedia entry for this show, I feel that America is not watching this masterpiece unfold.  Take a look at what you are missing…

Premiering almost five weeks ago, the show is somewhat of a brain child of Shaunie O’Neal, an executive producer and ex-wife of Shaquille O’Neal.  The magnitude of what this show has done for me is a bit overwhelming:

Cast Lineup:

Taking a play from my previous basketball post on an all-white basketball league, let’s take a look at how the woman of the show represent a starting lineup and sixth man.  The height and crazy to this lineup is off the charts:

Matt Barnes – SF Gloria Govan – Fiancee

Eric Williams – PF Jennifer Williams – Wife

Antoine Walker – PF Evelyn Lozada – Ex Wife

Dwight Howard – C Royce Reed – Baby Mama

Shaquille O’Neal – C Shaunie O’Neal – Ex Wife

Michael Olowokondi – C Suzie Ketcham – Ex Girlfriend

Giving some more background to this couples, Matt Barnes and Gloria Govan are the only people that appear to have heads on their shoulders. They clearly had no idea what this show was getting themselves into, and it seems landing on his seventh team in a city near the rest of these girls was just bad luck.

So far in the episodes Eric and Jennifer Williams are still married; and with Barnes, Eric is the only other actual basketball player getting air time; but because of his past cheating I don’t expect Eric to be stealing scenes much longer.

Evelyn Lozada spends much of her camera time explaining how she is not a gold digger and is moving on after separating from Antoine Walker (who has made over $100 million but is now bankrupt and playing in Puerto Rico and paying her thousands a month in child support).

BREAKING NEWS: The shimmy shake is trying to make a comeback!

Royce Reed is only named on the show as an past Heat and Magic dancer.  You won’t hear her mention Dwight Howard’s name, she legally can’t as she is banned from “using or publishing (orally, in writing, or otherwise), directly, indirectly or by innuendo, [Dwight's] name, nicknames, image, brand photographs, and/or likeness.“

Shaunie O’Neal, who calls herself the ‘Queen Bee’ of the girls, was served this letter after the first episode; she hasn’t been a major character since that episode.  To add to the drama, Shaq is allegedly putting his dick in Gloria’s sister.

After landing the number one overall bust Michael Olowokondi, Suzie Ketcham is fittingly the bust of this group as well.  This pair has two kids together, I want photographic proof to see how close to an alien these creatures are.

Episodes:

1.  Meeting the girls and Royce drama at a Super Bowl party (see video below).

2.  Evelyn throws herself a 34th birthday party with what is left of Antoine Walker’s money.  Episode introduces the one and only Eric Williams.

3.  Evelyn and Jen get disgusted by the city of Orlando.  Groupie conflict begins.

4.  Eric Williams steals the episode, housing hunting with Jen.  Listen up VH1, you need to start a spin-off show, house shopping with athletes and their wives who are about to get divorced.  Also, fancy restaurant fighting.  Posting this episode while it is still available online…

5. Make sure to watch this Sunday at 10:00pm.  The show is filmed in Miami, so remember there is a 40% chance you will see a Bangbros casting taking place in the background.

Drama:

Either I have very bad skills at finding videos on youtube, or VH1 is very protective of their content.  I can’t find any good clips from the show, this is all I can leave you with:

Season preview:

Introducing Plastic Surgery:

Terrell Owens and Ludacris Super Bowl party video of Royce Reed:

And I couldn’t end this post without showing that, since the start of the show, Evelyn Lozada had some self portraits make their way online:

NSFW IMAGE

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I Need You

Mar 26, 2010 audio, celebrities, dumb girls, idiots, music, news, pop culture, video

Paris Hilton has a new song called “I Need You”

Are your ears bleeding too?

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I Was Fired For Using N-Word

Mar 26, 2010 idiots, news, photo, school

This news story caused my mother to use her cellphone to txt me “u must get the paper today.”  I think this is only the second or third time she has figured out how to do this on a phone, so I knew it had to be somewhat important.  After talking with her, she made me buy copies of the local Waltham newspaper, which had this as the main, above the fold headline: “Principal: I was fired for n-word”

To give more background, this guy Peter Silverman used to be the principle at my old elementary school (long after I attended), where my mother currently works.  She never liked him and would say he had asperger’s syndrome.  He left that job after allegedly having an affair with a teacher (who’s husband worked at the same school, and whom she had four kids with, they are now divorced).  Eventually he became principal at Waltham’s Plympton Elementary School.  On February 9th this year he “mysteriously stopped working as principal.”

The article is pretty entertaining, Silverman claims he was fired after quoting the John Lennon song “Woman is the Nigger of the World” to show his support for two teachers.  These are quotes by Silverman that made it into the article:

“I think it would have been better if I hadn’t said it. I used the wrong analogy – I use analogies all the time, with kids and adults. It’s the only way I’ve ever used the word ‘nigger.’”

“Some people said it would have been fine if I had said, ‘low man on the totem pole’ – yet to Native Americans, that would have been offensive. It’s part of our colloquial speak.”

So to make sure you understand this along with me, Silverman states he only uses the n-word in analogies, which he uses all the time, including with kids.  And offensive words (apparently the n-word) are apart of our colloquial speak.  He also repeated the word ‘nigger’ in the interview, and took a shot at Native Americans for no reason.   Well done sir, I think this makes you a Corporate Thuggin’ Honorary Member.

If there was one thing I could always say about Silverman, it is that he is photogenic:

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Pittsburgh: Where Shit Goes Down

Mar 23, 2010 idiots, internet, news, tv

I heard this report on the radio a last week, but nothing does it justice until you see the video. The story goes that a guy snuck into another man’s bed in the middle of the night. Make sure to notice the leopard sheets, mirror headboard, and a disgusting Pittsburgh accent. If you want to experience this kind of scene for yourself, carry around a case of Iron City at a Steeler game and be prepared to make friends.

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Is Eric Massa A Member Of Corporate Thuggin’

Mar 11, 2010 celebrities, government, idiots, pop culture, tv, video

After hearing about this story and getting the rundown of the shit Eric Massa was up to, I think I’m pretty sure that no member of Corporate Thuggin’ has a political future, especially Cracker with Cheese and his penchant for hair tussling. Fast forward to 4:30 to get to the shit where this guys starts talking about tickle fights and orgies from Caligula. I usually hate all this political bullshit, but this guy is incredible.

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Baby Gaga

Mar 3, 2010 caption contest, celebrities, dumb girls, freaks, idiots, music, pop culture, tv, video

If you need to reach me please leave a message, I am searching the world for whatever country this is…

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One Day

Feb 18, 2010 advertisment, idiots, music, pop culture, sports, tv, video

What could be better than having a Hasidic Jew get you pumped up for the Winter Olympics:

Why not remix the song with rapper Akon:

This is kind of like having Busta Rhymes included on a remake of We Are the World 25; that’s right:

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Super Bowl Commercials

Feb 8, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, crime, government, idiots, internet, news, pittsburgh, politics, pop culture, sports, tv, video

Trying to come up with a title for this post was hard, seeing that every internet media blog has taken some variation of  “Monday Morning Fill-in-a-term” even though they have no idea what sport reference this is making.  ANYWAYS, as a whole I was upset with how unfunny the commercials happened to be this year.  And if I see one more Denny’s commercial I will kill someone.  You can find all the commercials on YouTube, but to save you time, this is all you need to know:

Best unintentional-intentional comedy that has no business trying to be funny:

Best showing of why Americans think Pittsburgh sucks:

Only commercial that got me to LOL, thanks Lamar:

Commercial that would have been funny if it wasn’t leaked before it aired [FYI - all the Doritos commercials sucked, and when someone at work reminded me that they were submitted to the company by ordinary people it makes me wonder why a they would waste $2.5 million on a spot]:

Most original idea that came from last year’s #1 summer comedy movie:

Best use of taking a popular TV show concept from a non-CBS station:

Worst use of tax money:

Bud Light was the, per usual, best brander this year, they also had the best rap artist joke from 2008:

Finally, the commercial you should watch about 100 times comes from Audi.  It gets my M. Night Shyamalan award.  To start, I thought it was a take on what America would be about if Al Gore was Prez.  Also, for the first 40 seconds it will have you thinking it is a joke on white-collar crime, not to be confused with White-Collar Crime.  During this time you may also think it is a joke about white people actually being capable of committing crime.   Finally you will see it is about being a hippie:

… I also like this commercial because I play a small part in the financing of it

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