Corporate Thuggin'

Archive for the ‘internet’ Category

Raaaaaaaandy Mixtape

Mar 8, 2010 audio, celebrities, injuries, internet, music, pop culture, video

If you haven’t heard, Randy is making a mixtape:

Only one song has been leaked so far, but it is more of a long bitchy rant:

The mixtape is also being slowed down by whoever Justin Bieber is:

Tags: aziz ansari, justin bieber, raaaaaaaandy

Justin Bieber Must Die

Mar 1, 2010 caption contest, celebrities, dumb girls, internet, music, pop culture, video

Too upset to say anything right now…

Tags: justin bieber, noah cyrus

Designated Driver

Feb 23, 2010 celebrities, internet, tv, video

Probably because it is on HBO, I can’t find a full clip of this, but check out Funny Or Die Presents, episode one, the Designated Driver clip. It shows why I could never live as an adult with Forever 21 in the same city. (Paul Scheer = Cracker with Cheese, Rob Riggle = Forever 21). This short clip will not make any sense as to why, you need to watch it on HBO on demand:

Designated Driver: Donuts w/ Paul Scheer & Rob Riggle from FODPresents

Tags: cracker with cheese, forever 21, funny or die presents, hbo, Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle

This Movie Is Like Blow, Except About Porn

Feb 20, 2010 celebrities, internet, movie, nsfw, pop culture, she could get it, tv, video

I heard about this movie over on filmdrunk, and it was good to hear that Luke Wilson took a break from showing his new and improved extra wide face on att commercials. The movie is called Middle Men and the trailer is definitely not safe for work as it focuses on the rise of internet porn. The only thing you really need to know is the tag line for the film, “Getting In is Easy. Pulling Out is Hard.” Why the fuck couldn’t we come out with a line that good to go with our website, god damn it. After watching this trailer, note that we have a segment called “Things to Jack Off To,” I’m just sayin’.

Tags: film, luke wilson, movie, porn, pussy, redband trailer, tag line, things to jack off to, tits, trailer

Songs I Would Sing In My Audition For American Idol

Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video

Personally, I feel like I was born to sing the first song, but the benefits of singing songs two and three might be too much to pass up.

1. Somebody Kill Me Please by Adam Sandler – to show off my vocal range

2.The Birthday Song by Taco (Jon Lajoie) – to hopefully get a shot at banging out Kara Dioguardi

3. Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge- to get a shot at banging out Ellen

Tags: adam sandler, come to my window, film, fx, melissa etheridge, movie, music, somebody kill me please, taco, the birthday song, The League, the wedding singer, tv

Kid N Play Are Still Sick As Shit

Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video

The House Party series of movies are some of the most underrated films of all-time. If you haven’t seen them, it’s like Boyz N Tha Hood with funny bad guys. Kid n Play got back together today since it’s been 20 years since the original House Party hit theaters. Watch these videos and bask in the nostalgia.

here’s the lame shit

here’s the hot shit

Tags: boyz n tha hood, film, house party, kid n play, mo'nique, movie, music, rap

Super Bowl Commercials

Feb 8, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, crime, government, idiots, internet, news, pittsburgh, politics, pop culture, sports, tv, video

Trying to come up with a title for this post was hard, seeing that every internet media blog has taken some variation of “Monday Morning Fill-in-a-term” even though they have no idea what sport reference this is making. ANYWAYS, as a whole I was upset with how unfunny the commercials happened to be this year. And if I see one more Denny’s commercial I will kill someone. You can find all the commercials on YouTube, but to save you time, this is all you need to know:

Best unintentional-intentional comedy that has no business trying to be funny:

Best showing of why Americans think Pittsburgh sucks:

Only commercial that got me to LOL, thanks Lamar:

Commercial that would have been funny if it wasn’t leaked before it aired [FYI - all the Doritos commercials sucked, and when someone at work reminded me that they were submitted to the company by ordinary people it makes me wonder why a they would waste $2.5 million on a spot]:

Most original idea that came from last year’s #1 summer comedy movie:

Best use of taking a popular TV show concept from a non-CBS station:

Worst use of tax money:

Bud Light was the, per usual, best brander this year, they also had the best rap artist joke from 2008:

Finally, the commercial you should watch about 100 times comes from Audi. It gets my M. Night Shyamalan award. To start, I thought it was a take on what America would be about if Al Gore was Prez. Also, for the first 40 seconds it will have you thinking it is a joke on white-collar crime, not to be confused with White-Collar Crime. During this time you may also think it is a joke about white people actually being capable of committing crime. Finally you will see it is about being a hippie:

… I also like this commercial because I play a small part in the financing of it

Tags: Al Gore, Audi, bud light, Census, Commerical, Dennys, doritos, Focus on the Family, hippie, Lamar Odom, Lost, m. night shyamalan, pittsburgh, Super Bowl, T-Pain, The Hangover, Tim Tebow, youtube

Apple Introduces The IPad And Gets Into The Periods Business

Jan 27, 2010 advertisment, internet, pop culture

Today Apple introduced their latest invention and there was much speculation about what it would be called. I’m not going to get into what it is exactly because I tried to read about it and could only hear that nerd from the Simpson’s yelling in my ear. Anyway, they tried to play off of their success of the name IPod by calling the new product the IPad. I first noticed that this similarity would cause havoc on people with a New York accent, but then thought, fuck them those Jersey Shore kids just improved their standing a ton and they needed knocked back down. Then, upon hearing the name repeatedly, IPad kept leading me to thinking about female hygeine products. So they took the next logical step from those gay ass commercials, they went straight to periods.

I decided that I’d be the first to start their new ad campaign. (Notice I chose red)

Tags: apple, ipad, ipod, periods

Sprite Wants That Ginger, Scalabrine, In The Dunk Contest

Jan 26, 2010 advertisment, celebrities, internet, pop culture, sports, tv, video

If you’re an NBA fan then you’re kind of pissed off that were not going to see the Lebron-Dwight matchup in this years dunk contest, it’s kind of like a girl telling you she’ll allow rear access and later she only shells out an HJ. In light in this, Sprite decided that they’d try and make the dunk contest seem cool even with this lack of star power. I’m assuming they thought those lame ass rap commercials about dunking would pump us up. They were wrong, watching these (video 1, video 2) actually gave me some pain in my right testicle. However, one group of men decided to take this premise and put it on it’s knees. They were the men of fatawesome and their dunk contest candidate is Brian Scalabrine.

Tags: basketball, brian scalabrine, dunk contest, dwight howard, fatawesome, lebron james, nba, sprite

White Done Right

Jan 25, 2010 celebrities, college, internet, news, photo, sports, tv

For those of you who may have missed it last week, a new professional basketball league has been proposed that would be labeled as “It’s all white, U.S. citizens [who were born] white.” Don ‘Moose’ Lewis, an Atlanta boxing and wrestling promoter said this All-American Basketball Alliance will start in several southern cities in June. Lewis makes the point that this is not racist, with his comment: “How are the Soul Train awards not racist? It’s not racist it’s just a niche, its entertainment.”

Personally, I think the way Lewis is going at it (middle, white America), will just turn into a league filled with white guys who think they can play, like this:

If you are going to start this league you have to do it right and this is how:

1. White guys in the U.S. are not at the level to were they can fill a league yet, we need to mix in an International conference.

2. Don’t limit locations to just the South, by using current NBA markets you can tap into their niche fans.

3. Because no one will think these teams can be any good you need to have them end a season with a playoff to find a league champion, with the winner playing two exhibition games. The first being against black guys who act white (team Urkels) and finally black guys who put fear in the eye of white people (team Black Power).

With these three rules you can organize the league, draft current NBA players, and create the following teams:

CONFERENCE AMERICA:

Boston White Hopes – guys who you want to succeed purely because they are white

Jose Jaun Barea – G
Chase Budinger – G
Brian Scalabrine – F
Kevin Love – F
David Lee – C
Brook Lopez – C

Indiana Minkus – guys who look like nerds that you could beat in your men’s league

Luke Ridnour – G
Coby Karl – G
Brian Cardinal – F
Steve Novak – F
Joel Przybilla –C
Jeff Foster – C

Phoenix Kappa Tappa Kega – guys who you would consider your best frat bro

Kirk Hinrich – G
Kyle Korver – G
Jason Kapono – F
Wally Szczerbiak – F
Troy Murphy – F
Luke Walton – F

Charlotte Neverlands – guys who wish they were still getting after it in the freshmen dorms

Travis Diener – G
J.J. Redick – G
Adam Morrison – F
Mike Dunleavy – F
Tyler Hansbrough – F
Steve Blake – G

Orlando Slim Shadys – guys who live outside their skin color

Mike Bibby – G
Jason Williams – G
Robert Swift – F
Chris Anderson – F
Brad Miller – C
Scot Pollard – C

Milwaukee Beast Ice – guys who might have been born through the breeding of cousins

Mike Miller – G
Chris Quinn – G
B.J. Mullens – F
Nick Collison – F
Chris Kaman – C
Joe Alexander – F

CONFERENCE WORLD:

Dallas Dragos – guys who would have played international villains in ’80s movies

Steve Nash – G
Marco Belinelli – G (included solely because he looks like Rocky Balboa)
Andrei Kirilenko – F
Dirk Nowitzki – F
Andris Biedrins – C
Jonas Jerebko – F

Portland Sabonis – guys who exude the legendary essence that is Arvydas Sabonis