Corporate Thuggin' » internet

I Can’t Wait to Get Drunk on March 2, 2012

forever 21 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:37:02 +0000

It should be noted that a few members of the CT staff found and then predicted the success of such films as Superbad and The Hangover. Yes, Superbad was discussed on our college radio show months before anyone had heard the word “samzies.” The same can be said for The Hangover, which was a result of our collective boner party party for anything the Todd Phillips had done up to that point in his career. Well, imagine if those two movies fucked more efficiently than Justin Bieber in a bathroom. Then imagine the craziest college party that you would hope to put together. Then imagine all of that shit happening, while you were in high school. Project X has been talked about for some time now, but a trailer has finally hit the internet. So I now present to you, the next big thing. Pretty soon the guys in this movie are going to banging a-listers and hanging out with P.Diddy. Man, I am going to sneak so much alcohol into the theater when I go to see this.

Linday’s Gettin’ After – Showing Twat Tastefully

forever 21 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 17:59:04 +0000

Despite my use of Courtney Stodden-esque alliteration, I hope that you did not overlook the fact that LiLo’s Playboy spread will be more literal that figurative. Mind you, we have seen this before, but never without the hated upskirt angle. I thought that this Playboy spread would just feature some boob action, but couchie lips takes it to a whole new level and lets us further add to CT’s already outstanding tag. And if you are part of the population that says, “Lindsay isn’t hot anymore.” I reply with, “she once looked like picture in this post,” so fuck you, I’ll still jack off to her. So, bide your time with the constant bra-less paparazzi photos while you glaze your collective knuckle, #lohanlabias will soon make their mark. By the way, get that hash tag going, it’s the best one I’ve seen since up with since #lovetocum.

Weezy Free

cracker with cheese — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 00:48:56 +0000

Records at NYC Department of Correction show that a 5′ 5″, 130 pound man, Dwayne Carter aka Lil’ Wayne, has been release after serving 8 months.

This story has been confirmed via Mr. Carter’s jail blog: http://weezythanxyou.com/, as well as through victim notification:

I have an important message from VINE, New York’s Automated Victim Notification Service. Please listen carefully to this message, you may want to have a pen and paper handy. After the message you will be asked to enter your four digit pin to prevent repeated calls to this telephone number. You are registered with us to receive updates about an offender with us whose last name is Carter (C A R T E R), and whose first name is Dwayne. The offender’s New York State Identification Number is 02616544L. I’m calling to tell you there has been a change in this offenders custody status. This offender is no longer in custody, as of November 4th, 2010. If you have any concerns about your immediate safety, contact your local law enforcement agency, or if you have an emergency call 911.

What is with these rappers and auto-tune?

Hey Kindergarten Teachers, Stop Being Cunts. There’s a New Alphabet Song

forever 21 — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:12:38 +0000

Fatawesome does it again, this time by rewriting the most well known song of all-time. And making it way less gay.

My Fantasy Bitch

cracker with cheese — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:52:10 +0000

Oh Forever 21,

As I write this the rain is just extending the inevitable outcome of tonight. That’s right, my boy Romo and I are going to beat you in Fantasy Football. Not that this was a difficult task, you suck at everything you do. And to pass the time until it become official, this is me schooling you in two more of your favorite topics, Reality TV and Porn:

MTV challenge star Dunbar Flinn is getting into the orgy industry, and this should make it safe to say that the Red team is not winning Cutthroat.

Dunbar will be joining VH1 love/money show contestant Brooke Thompson (a.k.a. Flavor of Love’s Pumkin) in an upcoming episode of Playboy TV’s FOURSOME. I will let her explain why she is doing the show:

Still unknown is Brooke’s biolgical relationship to Catelynn Lowell from 16 and Pregnant. Speaking of which, get ready for more dumb Southern girls, a new season starts at the end of the month:

Getting back to VH1, this channel is currently running another season of I Love Money, this time with four contestants from Megan Wants a Millionaire (none of which is believed to have killed anyone). Doesn’t it prove that if you are on a reality show playing for $250,000 that you are not a millionaire?

Seeing her past love contestants on this show, I wondered what is my girl Megan Hauserman doing with her life. As luck would have it, as soon as I got Showtime I had the answer, soft-core porn. Megan is on a show that has the best Fantasy Basketball team name for the upcoming season, Beach Heat Miami.

While this may be the greatest acted soft-core porn to come around in some time, seeing Megan partially naked and pretending to have sex can only be related to finding out that Santa isn’t real. I am still wondering what looked faker, her tits or her orgasm face. Here is the trailer for the show:

Before I end this, I just want to get a bit of topic to say that none of the above shows come close to matching your obsession with both The Stallionaires and mythical creatures:

I have no idea how I did all this without bringing up Football Wives, but anyways…

Until we meet again in week 14, you are my bitch.

Cut your hair, you look like a girl.

xoxo,

Cracker with Cheese

Note to Self: Go To Tila Tequila Concerts

cracker with cheese — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:59:23 +0000

Before:

During:

After:

Story from TMZ

Watch This And Then Try To Not Go Directly To Facebook

forever 21 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:39:24 +0000

This is that movie based on a bunch of nerds from harvard who invented the greatest procrastination tool of all-time and made everyone in the world completely narcissistic. Don’t get me wrong, I love facebook almost as much as I love looking at pictures of myself. But Mark Zuckerburg should be bowing down to David Fincher for making him look like the most bad ass nerd since Data from the Goonies.

@fatawesome and @RobHuebel take on M. Night

cracker with cheese — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:06:08 +0000

From fatawesome:

From Rob Huebel:

How People In Florida Die

cracker with cheese — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:46:22 +0000

Always Fair and Balanced, leave it to Fox News to have a youtube clip in a story about a guy killing himself on the 4th of July in an experimental helicopter he built in his garage:

What makes it better is the background music in the actual youtube video:

TwiztidAsh Makes Suge Knight Look Like KFed

forever 21 — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 04:07:34 +0000

Reasons this video this incredible aka why this girl sucks, yes i think she has labias.

1. She is from Morgantown, West Virginia.

2. She has a van.

3. She points to a trailer and calls it a house.

4. She hate John Legume (yeah he sounds like a douche)

5. She has a name that includes z’s

6. She has studied ninjitsu

7. She is ready to crack skulls right out of the front seat.

8. She tries to make her hair look like Guile from Street Fighter.

9. She is short and can get low to the ground.

10. 4:17 of the video above.

Personally, I can wait for more of TwiztidAsh. I also hope that one day she has a sex tape. She makes this complaining red haired kid seem like he’s living the high life.