Corporate Thuggin' » movie

Corporate Sluttin’ Gets Legit

white-collar crime — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:21:01 +0000

Movie trailers can make or break a major motion picture’s reputation and dictate it’s subsequent level of success at the box office. A shitty trailer may often leave you wishing you’d had a yeast infection in your eyes rather than ever witnessing said theatrical abortion. At the same time, well produced red band trailers are known to get us hard and even produce a little pre. When a trailer can stand on its own and provoke emotion, its a beautiful thing. Some trailers have made me giddy with laughter, for example, Super Bad. Others have provoked me to commit genocide on a small village with a chain gun, for example, trailers for Rambo and Sex in the City (the one where they go to India and try to give Ghandi a handjob or some shit). But when is the last time a trailer made you want to jack your dick/jiggle your clit? I present you with Digital Playground’s Body Heat. This porn trailer isn’t just some gimmick horse shit either. Explosions? Check. ~~Hot dudes with big hogs~~ …I mean… Sluts? Check. Asain firefighters with huge tits? Ch-fucking-eck. While trailers for porn movies are undoubtedly awesome, they will inevitably lead to less movie sales because if you’re not a pussy you’ll be able to glaze knuckle before the trailer is even over.

I Can’t Wait to Get Drunk on March 2, 2012

forever 21 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:37:02 +0000

It should be noted that a few members of the CT staff found and then predicted the success of such films as Superbad and The Hangover. Yes, Superbad was discussed on our college radio show months before anyone had heard the word “samzies.” The same can be said for The Hangover, which was a result of our collective boner party party for anything the Todd Phillips had done up to that point in his career. Well, imagine if those two movies fucked more efficiently than Justin Bieber in a bathroom. Then imagine the craziest college party that you would hope to put together. Then imagine all of that shit happening, while you were in high school. Project X has been talked about for some time now, but a trailer has finally hit the internet. So I now present to you, the next big thing. Pretty soon the guys in this movie are going to banging a-listers and hanging out with P.Diddy. Man, I am going to sneak so much alcohol into the theater when I go to see this.

Linday’s Gettin’ After – Showing Twat Tastefully

forever 21 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 17:59:04 +0000

Despite my use of Courtney Stodden-esque alliteration, I hope that you did not overlook the fact that LiLo’s Playboy spread will be more literal that figurative. Mind you, we have seen this before, but never without the hated upskirt angle. I thought that this Playboy spread would just feature some boob action, but couchie lips takes it to a whole new level and lets us further add to CT’s already outstanding tag. And if you are part of the population that says, “Lindsay isn’t hot anymore.” I reply with, “she once looked like picture in this post,” so fuck you, I’ll still jack off to her. So, bide your time with the constant bra-less paparazzi photos while you glaze your collective knuckle, #lohanlabias will soon make their mark. By the way, get that hash tag going, it’s the best one I’ve seen since up with since #lovetocum.

Doo-Wops & Hooligans

cracker with cheese — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 03:08:13 +0000

Is it me or is Bruno Mars turning into this generations version of Creed? All his songs sound the same and suck; however I do like this new Grenade one:

Bruno Mars – Grenade

Another thing that pisses me off about Bruno Mars is that he looks like a guy trying to look like a girl trying to look like a guy. If you have trouble following that, he looks like Janelle Monáe trying to look even more like a guy.

Visual Aid:

Two of these are Janelle, two are Bruno. Can you tell the difference, no one can.

Lastly, there can only be one mainstream gay Bruno, and that market is already full:

Bruno Trailer

The Wrestler… for chicks

cracker with cheese — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:29:37 +0000

Black Swan Trailer

Hey Kindergarten Teachers, Stop Being Cunts. There’s a New Alphabet Song

forever 21 — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:12:38 +0000

Fatawesome does it again, this time by rewriting the most well known song of all-time. And making it way less gay.

Watch This And Then Try To Not Go Directly To Facebook

forever 21 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:39:24 +0000

This is that movie based on a bunch of nerds from harvard who invented the greatest procrastination tool of all-time and made everyone in the world completely narcissistic. Don’t get me wrong, I love facebook almost as much as I love looking at pictures of myself. But Mark Zuckerburg should be bowing down to David Fincher for making him look like the most bad ass nerd since Data from the Goonies.

@fatawesome and @RobHuebel take on M. Night

cracker with cheese — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:06:08 +0000

From fatawesome:

From Rob Huebel:

America!

Lil' Biznas Planz — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:20:37 +0000

Hello all out in Corporate Thuggin world! I know its been quite a while since you have heard from me, but the wait is surely worth it.

If there are two things I love in this world, its Van Halen and America. This got me thinking…why not combine both into one amazing song thats sure to be blasted at 4th of July Cookouts and Freedom Marches all across this great nation. Well, with some editing help from White Collar Crime, that’s exactly what I did. So grab your gun, a cold Pabst, and strap yourself in, because are about to get fired the fuck up.

Dogtooth

cracker with cheese — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 23:34:46 +0000

I need to get on imdb more often:

Plot Summary:

Three teenagers are confined to an isolated country estate that could very well be on another planet. The trio spend their days listening to endless homemade tapes that teach them a whole new vocabulary. Any word that comes from beyond their family abode is instantly assigned a new meaning. Hence ‘the sea’ refers to a large armchair and ‘zombies’ are little yellow flowers. Having invented a brother whom they claim to have ostracized for his disobedience, the uber-controlling parents terrorize their offspring into submission. The father is the only family member who can leave the manicured lawns of their self-inflicted exile, earning their keep by managing a nearby factory, while the only outsider allowed on the premises is his colleague Christina, who is paid to relieve the son of his male urges. Tired of these dutiful acts of carnality, Christina enlists the elder daughter for some girl-on-girl action, carelessly disturbing the domestic balance. Soon enough, sex has spread throughout the household like fire. Next stop: rebellion.