As I write this the rain is just extending the inevitable outcome of tonight. That’s right, my boy Romo and I are going to beat you in Fantasy Football. Not that this was a difficult task, you suck at everything you do.  And to pass the time until it become official, this is me schooling you in two more of your favorite topics, Reality TV and Porn:

MTV challenge star Dunbar Flinn is getting into the orgy industry, and this should make it safe to say that the Red team is not winning Cutthroat.

Dunbar will be joining VH1 love/money show contestant Brooke Thompson (a.k.a. Flavor of Love’s Pumkin) in an upcoming episode of Playboy TV’s FOURSOME. I will let her explain why she is doing the show:

Still unknown is Brooke’s biolgical relationship to Catelynn Lowell from 16 and Pregnant.  Speaking of which, get ready for more dumb Southern girls, a new season starts at the end of the month:

Getting back to VH1, this channel is currently running another season of I Love Money, this time with four contestants from Megan Wants a Millionaire (none of which is believed to have killed anyone).  Doesn’t it prove that if you are on a reality show playing for $250,000 that you are not a millionaire?

Seeing her past love contestants on this show, I wondered what is my girl Megan Hauserman doing with her life.  As luck would have it, as soon as I got Showtime I had the answer, soft-core porn.  Megan is on a show that has the best Fantasy Basketball team name for the upcoming season, Beach Heat Miami.

While this may be the greatest acted soft-core porn to come around in some time, seeing Megan partially naked and pretending to have sex can only be related to finding out that Santa isn’t real.  I am still wondering what looked faker, her tits or her orgasm face.  Here is the trailer for the show:

Before I end this, I just want to get a bit of topic to say that none of the above shows come close to matching your obsession with both The Stallionaires and mythical creatures:

I have no idea how I did all this without bringing up Football Wives, but anyways…

Until we meet again in week 14, you are my bitch.

Cut your hair, you look like a girl.

xoxo,

Cracker with Cheese

During:

After:

Story from TMZ

Premiering almost five weeks ago, the show is somewhat of a brain child of Shaunie O’Neal, an executive producer and ex-wife of Shaquille O’Neal.  The magnitude of what this show has done for me is a bit overwhelming:

Cast Lineup:

Taking a play from my previous basketball post on an all-white basketball league, let’s take a look at how the woman of the show represent a starting lineup and sixth man.  The height and crazy to this lineup is off the charts:

Giving some more background to this couples, Matt Barnes and Gloria Govan are the only people that appear to have heads on their shoulders. They clearly had no idea what this show was getting themselves into, and it seems landing on his seventh team in a city near the rest of these girls was just bad luck.

So far in the episodes Eric and Jennifer Williams are still married; and with Barnes, Eric is the only other actual basketball player getting air time; but because of his past cheating I don’t expect Eric to be stealing scenes much longer.

Evelyn Lozada spends much of her camera time explaining how she is not a gold digger and is moving on after separating from Antoine Walker (who has made over $100 million but is now bankrupt and playing in Puerto Rico and paying her thousands a month in child support).

BREAKING NEWS: The shimmy shake is trying to make a comeback!

Royce Reed is only named on the show as an past Heat and Magic dancer.  You won’t hear her mention Dwight Howard’s name, she legally can’t as she is banned from “using or publishing (orally, in writing, or otherwise), directly, indirectly or by innuendo, [Dwight's] name, nicknames, image, brand photographs, and/or likeness.“

Shaunie O’Neal, who calls herself the ‘Queen Bee’ of the girls, was served this letter after the first episode; she hasn’t been a major character since that episode.  To add to the drama, Shaq is allegedly putting his dick in Gloria’s sister.

After landing the number one overall bust Michael Olowokondi, Suzie Ketcham is fittingly the bust of this group as well.  This pair has two kids together, I want photographic proof to see how close to an alien these creatures are.

Episodes:

1.  Meeting the girls and Royce drama at a Super Bowl party (see video below).

2.  Evelyn throws herself a 34th birthday party with what is left of Antoine Walker’s money.  Episode introduces the one and only Eric Williams.

3.  Evelyn and Jen get disgusted by the city of Orlando.  Groupie conflict begins.

4.  Eric Williams steals the episode, housing hunting with Jen.  Listen up VH1, you need to start a spin-off show, house shopping with athletes and their wives who are about to get divorced.  Also, fancy restaurant fighting.  Posting this episode while it is still available online…

5. Make sure to watch this Sunday at 10:00pm.  The show is filmed in Miami, so remember there is a 40% chance you will see a Bangbros casting taking place in the background.

Drama:

Either I have very bad skills at finding videos on youtube, or VH1 is very protective of their content.  I can’t find any good clips from the show, this is all I can leave you with:

Season preview:

Introducing Plastic Surgery:

Terrell Owens and Ludacris Super Bowl party video of Royce Reed:

And I couldn’t end this post without showing that, since the start of the show, Evelyn Lozada had some self portraits make their way online:

NSFW IMAGE

All we can hope for is more racism:

Preview for pussies:

Preview for kids who can enter fake info on a computer:

If it is in black and white and everyone looks like they are tripping on drugs you got art.  Stay classy Lindsay.