How People In Florida Die
Jul 5, 2010 caption contest, idiots, injuries, internet, news, old people, science, tv, video
Always Fair and Balanced, leave it to Fox News to have a youtube clip in a story about a guy killing himself on the 4th of July in an experimental helicopter he built in his garage:
What makes it better is the background music in the actual youtube video:
Tags: Edgar Thompson, experiment, Florida, fox news, helicopter, I Believe I Can Fly, R. Kelly, Titusville
Quattron = Gay and Asian
Mar 26, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, old people, tv, video
Anyone else find it odd that Sharp would market its new Quattron technology with George Takei?
Oh my…
Tags: George Takei, Quattron, Sharp
Mom Finds YouTube
Jan 21, 2010 internet, old people, politics, tv, video
Back in the fall of 2007 my mom discovered YouTube, sending me videos of “Fat Guy from Boston.” Almost a year later, fall 2008, she discovered it again sending me the South Park, Randy Marsh Naggers video (which premiered on March 7, 2007).
On Sunday I sent her this video:
I think I might have made her discover YouTube again, today she sent me this:
In other ‘Mom using Internet’ news, I emailed her a link to the breakdown of town by town voting in the MA Senate race Tuesday night, after the fact Martha Coakley conceded to Scott Brown. The next morning she responded to let me know that Brown won.
Tags: Fat Guy from Boston, Martha Coakley, Mom, Mom using Internet, Randy Marsh, Scott Brown, South Park, youtube
Obama Phone
Dec 5, 2009 advertisment, government, idiots, news, old people, tv, video
Good to know that phone service is now a right for everyone in America.
Live in Massachusetts and participate in one of the following assistance programs?
* Emergency Aid to the Elderly, Disabled and Children
* Supplemental Security Income
* Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program
* Food Stamps
* MassHealth
* Transitional Aid To Families with Dependent Children
* Fuel Assistance
If you do you can get a free phone with monthly minutes!!!
@BarackObama
Nov 16, 2009 caption contest, government, idiots, internet, old people, photo, politics
So remember how Obama connected with young voters by being up on technology, well he just said he was lying about it.
While in China, Obama said that his never used his twitter account (which has 2.6 million followers). Speaking to Shanghai students, one asked him “Should we be able to use Twitter freely?” Obama’s response was “Well, first of all, let me say that I have never used Twitter. My thumbs are too clumsy to type in things on the phone.”
Not sure if the students got the hint to make better phones.
What is strange is how everyone made such a big deal about Obama and his love of the BlackBerry. Reports even went out about how he would have to move to the NSA secure Sectera Edge smartphone, coming in with a price tag of $3,350.
What else was Obama doing in Asia land, bowing to midgets:
Tags: blackberry, china, Midget, obama, twitter
What To Do When You Break A Blackberry
Oct 5, 2009 old people
I was talking with a friend of ours who recently moved from Boston to SoCal, but she’ll always be Corporate Thuggin’s favorite masshole. When she realized that I had a short bus moment and forgot to wear a belt to work today, she tried to make me feel better by letting me know that she lost all of her contacts when she broke her phone. Turns out that I’m not the only one that rides short buses:
SoCalMasshole: today i had to go to verizon to get a new blackberry before work. when i got in my car the “tire pressure low” warning came in. last time that happened there was something stuck in one of my tires and i had to buy a new one. when i got my new blackberry i realized i havent backed up my contacts and now i have to manually import them from my old phone. and any contacts from the past 4 months are gone.
just thought that would make you feel better about not wearing a belt today
InvinciblePeriod: hahaha yes that definitely helps
that really sucks
SoCalMasshole: haha i know
InvinciblePeriod: no chance of importing them from the old phone?
SoCalMasshole: omg
that would probably work
haha
InvinciblePeriod: hahaha
wait
lets back up here
SoCalMasshole: haha
InvinciblePeriod: do you still have it?
SoCalMasshole: i have my old phone from like april
and i got a blackberry, it broke yesterday, i lost everything on it
so i have the contacts from my old old phone
InvinciblePeriod: you could probably just bring it to the store and they should be able to do it
SoCalMasshole: umm i bet you are right
i love you
InvinciblePeriod: you know i feel obligated to post this conversation
Tags: coochie lips, massachusetts
Assalaamu ‘alaykum, The Iron Sheik Is On Twitter
Sep 30, 2009 celebrities, freaks, idiots, internet, movie, old people, pop culture, sex, she could get it, sports, tv, video
Yes, the Iron Sheik of Howard Stern fame is on twitter and has recently been named by Maxim as one of the “Top 100 Twitter Accounts Every Guy Should Follow.” Sadly CorporateThuggin’ was not featured on the list, but the man with the 10 inch cock came in at #7. Here is a list of my top 5 twitter posts by the Sheik himself.
5. A question for Andy Milonakis
4. Sheik respects actor Kevin Pollak, (Yanni Gogolak from The Whole Nine Yards) who the hell is Kevin Pollak?
3.Sheik needs to tell Roman Polanski something
2. Jenna Jameson could get it from the Sheik
1. Mario Lopez did something fucking stupid
Tags: andy milonakis, cock, howard stern, iron sheik, jenna jameson, kevin pollak, mario lopez, maxim, roman polanski, she could get it, twitter
Things To Do For The Unemployed
Sep 17, 2009 old people, photo
Dear Lil’ Biznas Planz,
If this job thing doesn’t pan out, you could always use those sick driving skills to bring local children to “Camp Woody” in your pimped out van.
Or you could take my original suggestion and learn how to play the accordian. This could be doubly successful if you find those bunny ears and turn it into a groovy Halloween costume (personal note: one of my coworkers used the word “groovy” in a sentance to describe a spreadsheet I put together). Just keep that carrot where we can see it.
Worst case scenario: I heard Obama was looking for someone to dress up like him and help sell Obamacare to the elderly. Just don’t tell Jimmy Carter – he might think you’re being racist.
Tags: obama, old people, Racism
Image After Death
Aug 26, 2009 caption contest, celebrities, crime, government, old people, politics, pop culture
In May 2008, Edward Kennedy suffered a seizure, and days later was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Following surgery, Ted would come to two more seizures, including one at Barack Obama’s presidential inauguration. Late last night Ted Kennedy passed away at the age of 77.
While his death marks the end of the Kennedy brothers, seeing some of the reactions made online feels odd to me. Take these Facebook status and Twitter updates:
Open Northeastern is “the office that provides expanded programming around alcohol and drug education as a part of Student Affairs.” Their website states, “OPEN provides supportive, confidential, and non-judgmental services; we encourage students to make informed decisions about alcohol and other drug use and strive to reduce harm that can be associated with substance abuse such as poor academic performance, violence, health implications, high-risk sexual behavior, and addiction.”
To me this would be like Child Welfare saying “Michael Jackson was a great man, and his music helped him touch the children of the world.” It looks like when you die you are now only remembered for your good. Who cares if when you were 37 you crashed your car over a bridge, leaving a 28 year old girl to die, and you didn’t contact the police until after her body is found the next day.
I wonder how many (non Nazi) news articles in 1945 sounded like “Adolf Hitler, the man who’s leadership brought Germany out of its Great Depression, was found dead today.”
Tags: OPEN Northeastern, Ted Kennedy
