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Archive for the ‘photo’ Category

Motivational Posters – Pt 1

Jan 25, 2010 caption contest, photo

I got some pretty hilarious motivational posters in an email today that I’ve never seen before — here is part 1 in a multipart series.
(Also, if you want to make your own, this site is pretty decent.)

Tags: awesome, comedy, photo

White Done Right

Jan 25, 2010 celebrities, college, internet, news, photo, sports, tv

For those of you who may have missed it last week, a new professional basketball league has been proposed that would be labeled as “It’s all white, U.S. citizens [who were born] white.” Don ‘Moose’ Lewis, an Atlanta boxing and wrestling promoter said this All-American Basketball Alliance will start in several southern cities in June. Lewis makes the point that this is not racist, with his comment: “How are the Soul Train awards not racist? It’s not racist it’s just a niche, its entertainment.”

Personally, I think the way Lewis is going at it (middle, white America), will just turn into a league filled with white guys who think they can play, like this:

If you are going to start this league you have to do it right and this is how:

1. White guys in the U.S. are not at the level to were they can fill a league yet, we need to mix in an International conference.

2. Don’t limit locations to just the South, by using current NBA markets you can tap into their niche fans.

3. Because no one will think these teams can be any good you need to have them end a season with a playoff to find a league champion, with the winner playing two exhibition games. The first being against black guys who act white (team Urkels) and finally black guys who put fear in the eye of white people (team Black Power).

With these three rules you can organize the league, draft current NBA players, and create the following teams:

CONFERENCE AMERICA:

Boston White Hopes – guys who you want to succeed purely because they are white

Jose Jaun Barea – G
Chase Budinger – G
Brian Scalabrine – F
Kevin Love – F
David Lee – C
Brook Lopez – C

Indiana Minkus – guys who look like nerds that you could beat in your men’s league

Luke Ridnour – G
Coby Karl – G
Brian Cardinal – F
Steve Novak – F
Joel Przybilla –C
Jeff Foster – C

Phoenix Kappa Tappa Kega – guys who you would consider your best frat bro

Kirk Hinrich – G
Kyle Korver – G
Jason Kapono – F
Wally Szczerbiak – F
Troy Murphy – F
Luke Walton – F

Charlotte Neverlands – guys who wish they were still getting after it in the freshmen dorms

Travis Diener – G
J.J. Redick – G
Adam Morrison – F
Mike Dunleavy – F
Tyler Hansbrough – F
Steve Blake – G

Orlando Slim Shadys – guys who live outside their skin color

Mike Bibby – G
Jason Williams – G
Robert Swift – F
Chris Anderson – F
Brad Miller – C
Scot Pollard – C

Milwaukee Beast Ice – guys who might have been born through the breeding of cousins

Mike Miller – G
Chris Quinn – G
B.J. Mullens – F
Nick Collison – F
Chris Kaman – C
Joe Alexander – F

CONFERENCE WORLD:

Dallas Dragos – guys who would have played international villains in ’80s movies

Steve Nash – G
Marco Belinelli – G (included solely because he looks like Rocky Balboa)
Andrei Kirilenko – F
Dirk Nowitzki – F
Andris Biedrins – C
Jonas Jerebko – F

Portland Sabonis – guys who exude the legendary essence that is Arvydas Sabonis

Goran Dragic – G
Beno Udrih – G
Sasha Pavlovic – F
Oleksiy Pecherov – F
Zydrunas Ilgauskas – C
Darko Milicic – C

Toronto Grease – guys who look like creeps, but could be slammin’ your girl as we speak

Tony Parker – G
Sasha Vujacic – G
Pau Gasol – F
Luis Scola – F
Marc Gasol – C
Nenad Krstic – C

New York Carbombs mixture of players with Serbian, Turkish, Iranian and Greek backgrounds; let the fun begin

Marko Jaric – G
Peja Stojakovic – G
Hedo Turkoglu – F
Mehmet Okur – F
Hamed Haddadi – C
Kasta Koufos – C

Exhibition Teams:

San Antonio Urkels – guys that are black but who act white

Derek Fisher – G
Shane Battier – G
Grant Hill – F
Antawn Jamison – F
Tim Duncan – C
Chris Duhon – G

Denver Black Power – guys that are black and put fear in your eyes

Allen Iverson – G
Delonte West – G
Ron Artest – F
Kenyon Martin – F
Rasheed Wallace – C
DeShawn Stevenson – G

Tags: All-American Basketball Alliance, Along Came Polly, basketball, Don Lewis, nba, white people, whitethoughts

twloha

Jan 23, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, idiots, internet, photo, pop culture, video

Odd video featuring Miley Cyrus and Joaquin Phoenix (and later Liv Tyler) trying to raise money so people can write stuff on their own arms. Makes perfect sense to me, as well as a need to vote in order to raise the money. It is nice to see Miley explain a computer to Joaquin, who seems afraid of human interaction talking to the guy in the beginning of the video. Also, I can’t wait until Miley starts using stimulant drugs so she can have a little pep in her step and talk faster. At one point in the video is also seems that Joaquin is looking for Miley to give him a lap dance. Liv Tyler joins the mix, as Joaquin tries to explain his internet lessons to her. Liv finds the internet amazing, amazing.

The last time I remember seeing Joaquin he looked like this:

Tags: Joaquin Pheonix, Liv Tyler, miley cyrus

watch #bms or you’re gay, right @thadcastle

Jan 19, 2010 advertisment, college, idiots, internet, photo, sports, tv, video

If you have not watched an episode of Blue Mountain State (BMS) all you need to get hooked is the opening credits:

To sum it up: Boobs, Alcohol, Sports, College, Blowjobs.

Thank God people, or Chris Romano, have finally realized that if you make a show about drinking, sports, and shit talking and put it on after 10pm (swearing) it will be a perfect storm (see The League).

Premiering last Tuesday on Spike (yes, the same channel that has given us MANswers), BMS combines all the great parts of college life, at a school that is centered around a scandal filled sports team.

Episodes so far:

1. It’s Call Hazing, Look It Up

2. Craig Loses His Promise Ring In A Stripper

3. Tonight: Is That A Pocket Pussy

The star character of the show is half frat guy / half jock retard Thad Castle. In the first party scene Thad is shown, improving a part from Beerfest, snorting a line of a girls stomach, taking a bong hit, drinking beer out of a syringe, taking a pill off another girls tongue, then exhales. If only smoke came out of his mouth (pussy couldn’t handle the real shit). Another great Thad scene is him tackling a player, then standing over him yelling “9/11, 9/11… never forget.”

Tags: 9/11, alcohol, Beerfest, blowjobs, Blue Mountain State, BMS, boobs, Chris Romano, college, frat guy, hazing, jock retard, MANswers, pocket pussy, Spike, sports, stripper, Thad Castle, The League

How to Survive College – Part 10

Jan 12, 2010 caption contest, college, idiots, internet, photo

Find ways to meet people on campus, but online:

Really Northeastern, a campus in Second Life. I don’t know who Seth Merriam is, but if you do, punch him in the face for me.

UPDATE: Seth Merriam graduated Northeastern 14 years ago and is still doing an on-campus co-op. Look carefully, that is a part-time job. This is a How to Survive College bonus lesson: don’t get an art degree.

Tags: second life, Seth Merriam

what the f @Missnoiecyrus

Jan 11, 2010 caption contest, celebrities, photo

take note girls, this is not how you should dress for your tenth birthday:

Tags: birthday, noah cyrus

Krunk with Kids

Jan 6, 2010 crime, idiots, news, photo, tv, video

If Hayden Wright needs drinking buddies, we got some options:

- An 8 year old Ohio boy was boozing on New Years Day at his moms get together. To quote his father Michael Truewell “when he stumbled through the door, my girlfriend had to catch him,” makes sense as his son was so drunk he “needed his 15-year-old brother to help him cross the street to go home.”

- In Wisconsin, a mother (Sarah Shay) is accused of providing champagne and Mike’s Hard Lemonade at her 12 year old’s birthday party. It was a swimming / overnight party at a West Bend hotel for the daughter and nine friends.