Corporate Thuggin' » tv

Fuck Mayweather-Pacquiao

forever 21 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:01:41 +0000

Pretty Boy Floyd came out this week and said that he is planning a fight for May 5 in Vegas, and the it was the “biggest fight possible.” He did this one week before Manny Pacquiao is scheduled to fight some other scrub. Forget this bullshit and these 120 pound pussies.

The real story in boxing is that Lenny Dykstra aka Nails is set to take on none other than the human pin cushion Jose Canseco. Canseco is known for being a snitch and Nails is known for playing balls out as well as going bankrupt. Both guys have nothing to lose, meaning I expect a lot of blood. My money’s on nails.

NASCAR Gets More White Trash

forever 21 — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:11:57 +0000

When you hear a NASCAR driver interviewed after a race, you probably think, “Wow, unlike most of their fans, they definitely were not huge pieces of white trash growing up. And they definitely didn’t have shitty mustaches or mullets.” Well, you would be wrong. Snakkle put this gallery together to prove to you that these guys were in fact the trash stache loving, confederdate belt wearing, sideburn-less assholes that we knew they could be. Before you laugh, remember their wives look like this. Alright, after once again masturbating to that last gallery, it’s time to grab a sixer of Old Mil, a tin of Timberwolf and hit the track. Who knows how to drive a stick?

Doo-Wops & Hooligans

cracker with cheese — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 03:08:13 +0000

Is it me or is Bruno Mars turning into this generations version of Creed? All his songs sound the same and suck; however I do like this new Grenade one:

Bruno Mars – Grenade

Another thing that pisses me off about Bruno Mars is that he looks like a guy trying to look like a girl trying to look like a guy. If you have trouble following that, he looks like Janelle Monáe trying to look even more like a guy.

Visual Aid:

Two of these are Janelle, two are Bruno. Can you tell the difference, no one can.

Lastly, there can only be one mainstream gay Bruno, and that market is already full:

Bruno Trailer

My Fantasy Bitch

cracker with cheese — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:52:10 +0000

Oh Forever 21,

As I write this the rain is just extending the inevitable outcome of tonight. That’s right, my boy Romo and I are going to beat you in Fantasy Football. Not that this was a difficult task, you suck at everything you do. And to pass the time until it become official, this is me schooling you in two more of your favorite topics, Reality TV and Porn:

MTV challenge star Dunbar Flinn is getting into the orgy industry, and this should make it safe to say that the Red team is not winning Cutthroat.

Dunbar will be joining VH1 love/money show contestant Brooke Thompson (a.k.a. Flavor of Love’s Pumkin) in an upcoming episode of Playboy TV’s FOURSOME. I will let her explain why she is doing the show:

Still unknown is Brooke’s biolgical relationship to Catelynn Lowell from 16 and Pregnant. Speaking of which, get ready for more dumb Southern girls, a new season starts at the end of the month:

Getting back to VH1, this channel is currently running another season of I Love Money, this time with four contestants from Megan Wants a Millionaire (none of which is believed to have killed anyone). Doesn’t it prove that if you are on a reality show playing for $250,000 that you are not a millionaire?

Seeing her past love contestants on this show, I wondered what is my girl Megan Hauserman doing with her life. As luck would have it, as soon as I got Showtime I had the answer, soft-core porn. Megan is on a show that has the best Fantasy Basketball team name for the upcoming season, Beach Heat Miami.

While this may be the greatest acted soft-core porn to come around in some time, seeing Megan partially naked and pretending to have sex can only be related to finding out that Santa isn’t real. I am still wondering what looked faker, her tits or her orgasm face. Here is the trailer for the show:

Before I end this, I just want to get a bit of topic to say that none of the above shows come close to matching your obsession with both The Stallionaires and mythical creatures:

I have no idea how I did all this without bringing up Football Wives, but anyways…

Until we meet again in week 14, you are my bitch.

Cut your hair, you look like a girl.

xoxo,

Cracker with Cheese

Insert Period Joke Here

cracker with cheese — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:49:10 +0000

If Invincible Period Made Commercials

cracker with cheese — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 01:46:11 +0000

Kittens + Outfits + Bad Singing =

ESPY SNL Hosts

cracker with cheese — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 23:36:04 +0000

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

How People In Florida Die

cracker with cheese — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:46:22 +0000

Always Fair and Balanced, leave it to Fox News to have a youtube clip in a story about a guy killing himself on the 4th of July in an experimental helicopter he built in his garage:

What makes it better is the background music in the actual youtube video:

Why England Lost in World Cup 2010

forever 21 — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 22:33:49 +0000

Because Umbro is soooo 1994.

New Summer Shows Get Huge

cracker with cheese — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 21:08:33 +0000

If this is like any other ABC Family show, get ready for some big hot summer camp action: