Recent Articles
This Movie Is Like Blow, Except About Porn
Feb 20, 2010 celebrities, internet, movie, nsfw, pop culture, she could get it, tv, video Leave a comment
I heard about this movie over on filmdrunk, and it was good to hear that Luke Wilson took a break from showing his new and improved extra wide face on att commercials. The movie is called Middle Men and the trailer is definitely not safe for work as it focuses on the rise of internet porn. The only thing you really need to know is the tag line for the film, “Getting In is Easy. Pulling Out is Hard.” Why the fuck couldn’t we come out with a line that good to go with our website, god damn it. After watching this trailer, note that we have a segment called “Things to Jack Off To,” I’m just sayin’.
This Girl May Be A Bigger Justin Bieber Fan Than Cracker With Cheese
Feb 20, 2010 celebrities, music, pop culture Leave a comment
The funny thing is I caught Cracker with Cheese doing this exact same thing last week.
Where be my reverse seein’ devices??
Feb 19, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment
So…went to go move my car the other day and something wasn’t quite right. I didn’t remember leaving my mirror on the ground and in multiple pieces. Apparently someone decided the wide open street wasn’t big enough, so they took the mirror clean off my car. Naturally I assumed it was an asian, or a woman, or a pirate ship driven by a guinea pig. Luckily they left a note that cleared everything up:
I’m not sure, but I think this person offered to buy me pitchers at Conor’s. I’m not too worried about the missing mirror – I found something much better to look at while I’m driving drunk…I mean just driving.
Oh, just in case you don’t believe me about the pirate guinea pigs…they’re real:
Entrance Songs For Tiger Woods’ Press Conference
Feb 18, 2010 audio, celebrities, news, pop culture, sex, sports, tv, video Leave a comment
I thought I’d give Tiger a few options for his walk up to the podium for tomorrow’s press conference. The Tiger songs are pretty lame to tell you the truth, but my suggestion for Elin transcends adultery.
Lil Wayne should have just called this one Tiger’s Autobiography
Anything from Three Six Mafia would def instill Tiger’s vibe
Do you think is possible that Tiger plays golf solely for the twat. Fred Durst thinks so. wow, that sentence is lame, but maybe Tiger’s Sunday red is a tribute to ole Freddy.
And… one for Elin.
One Day
Feb 18, 2010 advertisment, idiots, music, pop culture, sports, tv, video 1 Comment
What could be better than having a Hasidic Jew get you pumped up for the Winter Olympics:
Why not remix the song with rapper Akon:
This is kind of like having Busta Rhymes included on a remake of We Are the World 25; that’s right:
Songs I Would Sing In My Audition For American Idol
Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video Leave a comment
Personally, I feel like I was born to sing the first song, but the benefits of singing songs two and three might be too much to pass up.
1. Somebody Kill Me Please by Adam Sandler – to show off my vocal range
2.The Birthday Song by Taco (Jon Lajoie) – to hopefully get a shot at banging out Kara Dioguardi
3. Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge- to get a shot at banging out Ellen
Kid N Play Are Still Sick As Shit
Feb 10, 2010 audio, celebrities, internet, movie, music, pop culture, tv, video Leave a comment
The House Party series of movies are some of the most underrated films of all-time. If you haven’t seen them, it’s like Boyz N Tha Hood with funny bad guys. Kid n Play got back together today since it’s been 20 years since the original House Party hit theaters. Watch these videos and bask in the nostalgia.
here’s the lame shit
here’s the hot shit
Things to Jack Off To, Part E-Cup
Feb 9, 2010 uncategorized Leave a comment
So I was out running tonight and this song came on my iPod. Yes, it was probably right between Miley and Taylor Swift. But I started thinking about how underrated this video is, especially every part with Lindsay’s extraordinary “i-just-started-taking-birth-control” sized knockers. Even PETA must be happy because those puppies are free-rangin’ all through the video. This was right around post-Mean Girls and pre-carpet-munching (two things that are AWESOME). Plus she’s in a cage….where all bitches should be.
Super Bowl Commercials
Feb 8, 2010 advertisment, caption contest, celebrities, crime, government, idiots, internet, news, pittsburgh, politics, pop culture, sports, tv, video Leave a comment
Trying to come up with a title for this post was hard, seeing that every internet media blog has taken some variation of “Monday Morning Fill-in-a-term” even though they have no idea what sport reference this is making. ANYWAYS, as a whole I was upset with how unfunny the commercials happened to be this year. And if I see one more Denny’s commercial I will kill someone. You can find all the commercials on YouTube, but to save you time, this is all you need to know:
Best unintentional-intentional comedy that has no business trying to be funny:
Best showing of why Americans think Pittsburgh sucks:
Only commercial that got me to LOL, thanks Lamar:
Commercial that would have been funny if it wasn’t leaked before it aired [FYI - all the Doritos commercials sucked, and when someone at work reminded me that they were submitted to the company by ordinary people it makes me wonder why a they would waste $2.5 million on a spot]:
Most original idea that came from last year’s #1 summer comedy movie:
Best use of taking a popular TV show concept from a non-CBS station:
Worst use of tax money:
Bud Light was the, per usual, best brander this year, they also had the best rap artist joke from 2008:
Finally, the commercial you should watch about 100 times comes from Audi. It gets my M. Night Shyamalan award. To start, I thought it was a take on what America would be about if Al Gore was Prez. Also, for the first 40 seconds it will have you thinking it is a joke on white-collar crime, not to be confused with White-Collar Crime. During this time you may also think it is a joke about white people actually being capable of committing crime. Finally you will see it is about being a hippie:
… I also like this commercial because I play a small part in the financing of it
Rap Lyric of the Day – “If Amazing Was A Young Bitch, I’d Be Going To Jail Because I’m Fucking Amazing”
Feb 8, 2010 audio, celebrities, music, pop culture, radio, rap lyric of the day, video 1 Comment
Here is the latest installment of the “Rap Lyric of the Day” segment. This entry comes from Drake and might as well have come from Cracker With Cheese considering some of his recent posts.
Uhh, set up the occasion,
I’m up in the place in,
if amazing was a young b-tch,
I be going to jail cuz I be f-cking amazing,
whats up in the taking,
I’m ready and Im willing, why the f-ck are we waiting
