Corporate Thuggin'

Posts Tagged ‘advertising’

Upon checking the mail today I came across an innocent enough looking pamphlet advertising my alma mater’s homecoming festivities. These advertisements are ultimately attempting to get get alumni pumped up enough to donate money. From the get-go, NU fails to get me excited enough to participate in these events, never mind donate. Check out the cover… nothing gets my dick softer than inter-racial cheer squads, old people, football players clearly not on steroids, and buildings I had to report to at 8am every Friday morning. By the way, what’s up with the homecoming logo? Does the tail on the end of the “g” remind anyone else of a fox, not a husky?

nu-homecoming-2009-front

As I turn to the first page, more bullshit: Pumpkins, unnecessary mission statement, unecessary registration information (you mailed me this letter right, so why the fuck do you need my name and address?), a male cheerleader… whoa, wait… clearly shit-faced thugs rubbing elbows with the president of the University. Thats right, some corporate thugs actually make this pamphlet worth while.

nu-homecoming-open

I need to get the full story, but I imagine it going something like this: The corporate thugs in question were somewhere mid-black out when they infiltrated an alumni networking event, un-invited of course as they were not alumni at this point. Forever 21 who seems to be the most inebriated (and wearing a beret) most likely spotted the president and initiated a rambling conversation about nothing while spewing the smell of Natty Light and whiskey into Aoun’s face. Somehow I Brought The Table and an associate stumbled into this unholy collaboration as well and BANG a picture was taken. Obviously the editors of this pamphlet were overwhelmed by the combination of power and sexiness projected in the image and had no choice but to publish it.

nu-homecoming-closeup

Tags: advertising, awesome, college

Something Was Lost In Translation

Aug 3, 2009 advertisment, internet

I’m guessing Google wasn’t intending to let their users accent their homepage with images of “Spring in the Rape Field.”

Tags: advertising, awesome, coochie lips, google

America runs on racism

Jul 30, 2009 advertisment

In a shocking move, Dunkin’ Donuts has hired Amos n’ Andy as their new executive advertising team. Living in the inner city, I can see why it may be fiscally tempting to large corporations to target a large minority population. However, this can be done in good taste as we have seen in the early 20’s by several companies:

aunt-jemima-advertisement

Still, I was caught off guard when a somewhat conspicuous advertisement caught my eye in the window of a local Dunkin’ Donuts:

dunkin-donuts-grape-watermelon-coolatta

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watermelon and grape (and sometimes red) as much as the next guy, but Dunkin Donuts could have tried to make this pandering a bit less conspicuous. Perhaps Watermelon and Apple, or Grape and Cherry, but no they hit you in the face with a deliciously stereotypical pair. Get Obama on the phone, Mr. Donuts and I need to have a beer summit.

Tags: advertising, Racism

Works Every Time

Jul 9, 2009 advertisment, idiots

Apparently some people in Detroit are getting their panties all in a bunch over a billboard with Lando Calrissian hawking cans of Colt 45, saying it “Works Every Time.” One councilwoman is claiming that it’s “an issue of racism and perversity.”

Perversity, maybe; racism, not so much. It’s a malt liquor. That’s like saying it’s racist to say a brem likes his fingersnacks or a monkey likes his banana. I think she’s just pissed because the ad says it works every time, as opposed to her baby daddy’s condom that works 99.9% of the time. So who was the 00.1%?

Tags: advertising, awesome

People are weird.

Jun 27, 2009 advertisment, idiots

Ever get caught up clicking from one link to another and you find yourself at some remote part of the internets? I did.

Today’s journey started at a simple google news search for Iran and post-election coverage. Then I found some link to Obama’s Wikipedia page, then some link on Alan Keyes, then some half crazy, have not-so-crazy website that seems to have a pretty large following, then I started reading an article on there and then I clicked an ad on the page because…

… well because it noted a national shortage of ammunition and warned that food would be next.

Obviously.

I was not ready for what would ensue. I encountered, the Freedom Unit. For only $1,682 per person, you can have a years supply of emergency food! And do not be fooled, the Freedom Unit is not just bare essentials — that duty is relegated to the Liberty Unit, which is available for $107 less per person per year.

Despite all the questions about this guys sanity, or the market for a years supply of dried food, their intent behind naming their products Freedom and Liberty, the real question I have is this:

For $1682 per year, you could buy 4 things off the dollar menu daily and still have a few cents to put into your piggy bank — why not just do that? I mean, as long as they get your order right…

Tags: advertising, Latreasa Goodman

Blowjob Advertisement

Jun 24, 2009 advertisment, sex

I think more companies should take the hint from Burger King and base entire ad campaigns make you think about getting some dome. Actually, they should start putting hummers on the menu. Also, this ad gives me an idea for a new MoneyTalks episode.

BKsevenincher