Corporate Thuggin' » death

New DirecTV Commercials

forever 21 — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:45:54 +0000

The last commercial featuring Chris Farley was a huge hit so the guys at LandlineTV thought those pussies could take it a step further with whoring out dead celebrities. Warning: This has a Jesus joke, but does not involve urine so take it easy.

Movies You May Think Suck, But Are Actually Incredible

forever 21 — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:39:18 +0000

Comedy

Blue Streak – Martin Lawrence plays a thief who poses as a cop in order to retrieve a diamond he had hid in the police headquarters years earlier. Pretty shitty topic that kind of reminds me of the multiple Big Momma’s House debacles especially with it’s PG-13 rating. However, Blue Streak features supporting roles by Luke Wilson and Dave Chappelle who make Martin Lawrence pretty tolerable. Other than the constant use of that gay ass line of “Believe That,” this movie is pretty hilarious and here are a few clips that prove this.

Action

Death Race – It was pretty obvious coming in that the guy who made Mortal Kombat, Paul WS Anderson, was going to make another sweet movie that didn’t involve Aliens or Predators. The plot is that this guy, Jason Statham, is a criminal who competes against other inmates in a car race in which they try and kill each other. I’m really not into cars or bullshit action movies, but the seriousness in Death Race makes it pretty hilarious and kept me into it. Any movie that has a secret driver named “Frankenstein” has my vote as incredible. Only thing that sucks is that Tyrese is in this, and once again looks like a douche.

Drama

Searching For Bobby Fisher – You wouldn’t think that a heterosexual who’s not autistic would like a movie about chess, but you would be wrong. This movie is about a kid who isn’t sure if he wants to be a great chess player and everything he goes through. It also features a rival who is probably the youngest kid I have ever hated. Just watch this scene and you’ll know how sweet it is. The best part however, has nothing to do with the movie itself. The real Bobby Fischer came out against the film and claimed it was a “Jewish Conspiracy” to sully his name and make money off of him. Classic anti-semitism makes this a must-see

Devastating News

white-collar crime — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:00:37 +0000

While in the midst of researching for my last post, I came across Wikipedia’s recent deaths section. The news I discovered here of yet another celebrity death has yet to hit any of the major media outlets… Corporatethuggin 1, CNN 0.

I got my drink and my two step

white-collar crime — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:28:27 +0000

As you have probably heard by now, TV pitchman extraordinaire Billy Mays was found dead this morning at the age of 50. More disturbing than the death itself is the fact that his son broke the news via his twitter account. I’m sure if Billy were alive he would put an ass whooping on that nerdy offspring of his, not only for twittering his demise but also for having a girlfriend with several facial piercings. While the world mourns, no one will miss him more than his twin brother, Al Borland.

Too soon?

white-collar crime — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:57:51 +0000

Several sources have reported that Jacko has been rushed to a hospital in a state of cardiac arrest following a 911 call. Seeing as how it takes a quick ambulance at least 10 minutes to arrive at a scene, and the brain begins suffering massive trama after 6 minutes in cardiac arrest, I’m going to go with he’s dead. You heard it here first.