This Movie Is Like Blow, Except About Porn

I heard about this movie over on filmdrunk, and it was good to hear that Luke Wilson took a break from showing his new and improved extra wide face on att commercials. The movie is called Middle Men and the trailer is definitely not safe for work as it focuses on the rise of internet porn. The only thing you really need to know is the tag line for the film, “Getting In is Easy. Pulling Out is Hard.” Why the fuck couldn’t we come out with a line that good to go with our website, god damn it. After watching this trailer, note that we have a segment called “Things to Jack Off To,” I’m just sayin’.

A College Cutting The Football Program Is Like Having A Sex Change Operation

My alma mater, Northeastern University, cut their football program today and even though no one went to the games and they were piss poor under the Rocky Hager regime, I can’t help but feel a little faggy that I went to a college that does not play football. Students everywhere see the necessity of day drinking on Saturday afternoons and that will never happen again for students at Northeastern. I got a few comments on the decision.

Being a graduate of a university that does not have a football team is like…

… going to a party where no one is playing flip cup

… listening to a DMX song without any barking

… drinking caffeine free Sparks

… watching soft core porn

… getting laid without a mouth to dick action

… you’re still having a good time, but you’re missing out on the best part.

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Rap Lyric Of The Day – “And I’ma Call You ‘Duncan Hines’ Just Keep It Moist”

This could be a new favorite segment of Corporate Thuggin’, so why not start it out on the right foot, with a lyric about pussy. This comes from the hit Give Me A Chance by Bobby Valentino featuring Ludacris.

Seems you need a man that’ll spin you ’round
Turn you inside out and upside down
Bet you never had it like that before
We can take it real slow or your back can blow
It’s whatever, whenever, you make the choice
And I’ma call you ‘Duncan Hines’ just keep it moist

Vampire Bullshit Hits The Sex Toy Industry

This sex toy is called the Fleshlight, and yes that’s because it’s a fake pussy in a flashlight sized can. Overall, there are seven different textures to choose from and four different “openings” appropriately title as follows: “The Stealth” “The Mouth” “The Lady” and “The Butt.” I’m only scratching the surface in the different offerings of the Fleshlight brand so def go to the website, it will blow your mind literally and figuratively. Anyway, this place just started offering a new opening for the can which features a vampire’s mouth complete with fangs. I fucking hate vampires.

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